It's July 22, 2016 11:11 am.. (make a wish) and I was sitting here at my office desk, doing random things at work, social media and telegram. Tomorrow will be the 102nd INC Anniversary and we've been preparing these days for almost 2 months now. I'm tired because of lack of sleep, my friends are sick, and I know the purpose of these sacrifices so I wouldn't complain too much about it.

oh by the way you have new addition to your growing family (baranggay) his name is Jimmy Siduard, nephew! he's in Incubator right now, born pre-matured but they are okay now. I'm really blessed to have a close family ties with my mom's side. Through good and bad times I know there's someone who can help us and there are the ones who help my family when we too are in trials.
I LOVE YOU ALL.

Now back to my contemplating slash diary slash how are you when you are in this time blog post.

I'm currently enrolled to my third school on my third course (if you can consider it one) Educ Units and so far I'm doing good I guess. All my classmates are degree holder, some are with masters degree already and I feel like I'm surrounded with teachers rather than students. That's the difference I guess, most if not all are already knowledgeable with what our professors are teaching and I feel lost at times.

What the hell I got myself into? sometimes I can't help but ask.

Well I have this goal, that someday  I won't be stuck in a four-corner cubicle waiting for 5 o'clock time to go home. I like this job but still something is missing and I'm still finding myself. Where can I use my skills and talents fully, where can I spend all my energies and go home drained but happy?

That my 40 year old me what I would like you to have.

How's your social life now?
Today I'm friends with some of the wonderful people at church, it's been 2 years since I'm here at QC and yes I gain friends and I want to eliminate some. You see, you cannot please everyone and true friends will make time to know you better, will not talk behind your back and say negative things just for the sake of I-don't-know-their-motives-are... I couldn't care less.. I stop talking if I stop caring and that's the worst I can do to people I hate. I don't like conflicts I don't like nagging, I hate it when people judge me when they don't even know me.

Oh how I hope you found more genuine friends, whom you'll keep forever, they are the ones who will be you when you are still single and having a bad day or want to hang out or as simple as chatting while reminiscing the past.

To think of it yes it is true that "Your friends doesn't need your explanation and your enemies won't even bother to believe it" so yeah why exert time and effort explaining yourself.

Another thing.. have you made yourself travel more? oh I hope you do.
This day you are supposed to fly in UK to visit your cousin's in laws. The laws of the universe didn't allow you to. I can think of hundreds of reasons why, if it's not meant to be it is not meant to be.

Love life! Yes a very interesting topic I want to share with you, I'm still single and no one's been bothering to court me aside from one person whom I have on-off constant text mate that I'm still not sure of his true feelings and I'm still not sure who he is. You see that's one trait I don't like about you, you can easily fall in love with sweet nothings, you are a hopeless romantic..

How is your love life now?

Oh how I wish you found that person, that person who'll stay by your side when you're too stressed about small things, ready to buy you the "monthly scheduled cravings", your travel buddy, your best friend, your enemy for saying things you hate hearing but at the end of the day will kiss you and hug and say I Love You!

well if not I hope you had a better idea of what's going with your life.

I'm not sure if it's my downside of my personality, I'm happy with my life so far, I may strive for things I don't have for now but not to a point that I'll be super rich, I don't dream too high, I dream of what is feasible so I won't disappoint myself too much, it'll be a bonus if I can go that far.

God, Family, Health and Friends are the things I treasure most more than Money...

Keep the faith and all will follow.

Another thing do you have your own art studio now?
I could barely paint during these days, full time work occupies me more than want I love doing. I hope you're making more time doing this time and I hope people are not taking you for granted by paying less than you deserved.

I hope this day you'll find this letter and yes I know you'll laugh and cry about it. (I know you too well)

Above all I hope you are happy where you are right now..


Your one and only self,

zashi

Just as I thought my UAE visit would be a month, turns out I would be staying here for years and build my career. As I have previously mentioned, living abroad was not in my plan. But I guess God has a different plan for me and fate brought me here. 

What happened this past few years? 

A LOT! You probably already knew the pandemic outbreak. I was lucky enough to live here, swabs and vaccinations are free. Not to mention, insurance! One of the reasons I felt it is fate. I've been through the lowest period of my life and I am glad I'm alive. Well I will not dive deep in that story, let's just say the storm has passed and I survived. 

First year was tough, all the experiences I had in my country is nothing compared to the work ethics here. A 180 degrees turn. I learned to be tough, my first job is like a military training and peeled my introverted personality. I learned to speak and interact more with people in different diversity. I finally enjoyed a career that really suits me. 

One of the best thing here in UAE is the variety of food. I've gain weight this year and I love eating! Fruits and vegetables are affordable. Asian, Arabic, European food? Name it. 

Talking about the grand of all grand. It's here! The famous palace, tallest building, art museums and more. 

 

When you hear middle east, the first impression would be desert and it's hot. Well it's true! Temperature rises up 45 degrees Celsius and more during summer but there are activities to cool us down

Yes folks we have skating rink and ski resort here! 

Yes the title sums it up, where am I in September 2019? I've been on a very long journey in my life for the past 2 years (I almost forgot I have a blog) and probably 5, 10, 15 years from now I'd still be reminiscing this moment of my life.

Now that "vlogging" is now a "thing" in the Philippines, I'm still here struggling to revive my old blog. I guess it's easier for me to share my thoughts thru writing.

So what's up Zashi? what happened this past few years without blogging?

- Family moved in Nueva Ecija February 2016
- I finished my Education Units May 2017
- Passed the Licensure exam in December 2018 (finally I'm a certified "teacher" legally)
- Currently in UAE since January 2019 (say what?)

You read it right, I'm in UAE, never I have imagined I'd be living in a foreign land. Just as I thought my career goal was going smoothly, God has other plans for me.

Homesickness struggle is for real, I used to joke this around my friends living abroad, now I know. I remember reading a blog post from an OFW living here 15 years ago, he made things fun and light in his own way of telling stories and jokes about his life although you can feel the sentiments of homesickness.

I've been in a rollercoaster ride living here, learned and still learning about life, family and friends. Always grateful for people around me who helped me survive. I learned to adjust and a bucket of tears won't suffice to summarize my life while living here-that made me stronger and wiser (I guess). There's more to come, I'm slowly getting back on my feet, let's see what happens, if not at least I got few options.

Next time I'll tell you stories where I've been and why I'm loving UAE.
Salam

September is almost over! time really is fast! and Zashiq5 turns another year older  wiser.. lol

updates?

 I'm studying again for the third time.. my 3rd course course (well technically my 4th but I didn't finish the first one) Yup! you read it right... people often say "Wow ang sipag! kaya wala ka nang lovelife" no more time for lovelife they say.. Hmmm I'll just smile but if they really want to ask my reason, I'd say it will come on the right time.

That's the thing here in the Philippines, people are under pressure..they make it a "big deal" when you're in 30s.. you should be married, have kids, etc. What can I do? That's not the way my destiny is going.

Mid life crisis.. I think I'm suffering it right now. I constantly ask myself.. what now? Is this the career I wanted to have? the life I dream of?

But despite these questions, it all boils down to one.. AM I HAPPY?

I can say yes but there are more things I wanted to do with life that I haven't done. In terms of career I felt like it's not the best job I have now... that's when I decided to take my third course. I'm currently taking Certificate in Professional Teaching, first sem is almost over. Yey!

It was so demanding. I felt like I went back to my undergraduate studies, we are taking principles of teachings, curriculum development and assessment. Wow! honestly I felt lost through midterms.

I'm trying to squeeze my art time, did some painting and calligraphy practice.